And the fact that the mutton chops reemerged in the 1800s can be attributed to a natural cycle of Social ADD. His theory suggested that although the side burn style was not always at the fore front of society's focus, it was always retained within human instinct. Spencer, a man with a very sexually arousing set of mutton chops, insisted that mutton chops are a social exercise that was preserved through the generations because it is a vertebrae of the backbone of every strong civilization. Mutton Chop Darwinism was theorized by sociologist, Herbert Spencer. This explains how mutton chops evolved biologically, but what about the social aspects of mutton chops? This is where Social Darwinism jumps in to explain the rest with no gray area whatsoever.Īlthough Social Darwinism contains Darwin's name, he had no personal affiliation with the theory. What he really said was that we came from big side burns. Therefore the common misconception that Christians have that Darwin thought we came from fish is complete bullfucking assgiblets. He declared that single celled organisms that everything evolved from were hair organisms, Mutton Chop hair organisms, actually. Herbie Spencer: Sociologist, mutton chop connoisseur, President of the Charles Darwin Fan ClubĬharles Darwin put in his two cents to the origin of Mutton Chops. Until, when chance came, it ensnared a new bearer.Ĭharles Darwin, Social Darwinism, and Mutton Chops And for 1800 years mutton chops passed out of all knowledge. And something that should not have been forgotten was lost. He was killed in an accident at the gun powder mill at which he worked. Then, somewhere toward the end of his life, Jesus died. This is why sheep meat is still used today as a fashionable alternative to hair. Therefore they would adhere pieces of sheep meat (mutton) to their faces to achieve the countenance they desired. The term, "Mutton Chops" came about from the fact that Jesus's man-bitches could not effectively grow sideburns. As Jesus grew up his abnormal facial hair caused an uproar in the Jewish population, but all the Nazareth bitches were trying to get all up on that (and Jesus dutifully supplied the demand.) Hailed as Jesus's first miracle, mutton chops were invented sometime between the year 1 A.D. Their little baby boy had magical powers and with them he performed "miracles".īaby Jesus proudly displays his mutton chops Their offspring's name was Jesus, a name that was high on God's list of favorite baby names. When God invented the world 2000 years ago he put his oopsy-oops in the naughty hole of a loyal loyal little virgin named Joseph. The Jesus Theory revolves around the idea that Jesus invented mutton chops as one of his first miracles. The most widely accepted and most believable theory on the origin of mutton chop styling is " The Jesus Theory". All the rest are as comprehensible as a retard with diarrhea coming out of his/her mouth. Of the thousands of theories out there, only a few have enough logical thought behind them to make sense. There has been wide speculation over the actual origin of the mutton chops style.
1.2 Charles Darwin, Social Darwinism, and Mutton Chops.If you really want to be hip you have to go for the gold and the gold demands a moustache. He would grow a moustache to go along with his sideburns (and he did). Some professionals protest that the side burn/moustache combination should be referred to as the "Franz Joseph", but they are just a bunch of pot-smoking, aerosol-huffing, spandex-wearing, radical right-wing Nuns that wouldn't know a good time if it crawled up their Nun-dresses and bit them on the asshole (much in the same manner a Japanese Yōkai, or 妖怪, would do if the opportunity presented itself.) The true version of muttons are just the side burn part, but who really wants that? What would Jesus do? He wouldn't be a pussy.
Mutton chops into mustache full#
The mutton chops are characterized by long sideburns connected to a moustache section OR a full beard minus the chin part. Mutton Chops (pronounced: Muh-tuhn -tchaw-psss) is a prestigious facial hair styling donned by members of middle and upper class adults worldwide. Melvin "Mutton Chops" McGee, record holder of the most elegant mutton chops in history.
0 kommentar(er)
